झूठ नही

A lie machine is bought.It works in the
following way.....

If the truth is told- the machine wont give any
sound
If a lie is told- the machine will give a sound

'KIRRRRRRRR...'

Now there are three Indians.One Bengali,one Madrasi
and one Sardarji.

Their correspondences are given infront of the lie
machine.Here it goes......

Bengali:- 'I think I can eat 30 rosogullas at a time!'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Bengali:-'No no, I think I can eat 10 rosogullas at a time'

Lie machine:- no sound(truth is told)

Madrasi:-'I think i can eat 25 dosas at a time'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Madrasi:-'No no,I think i can eat 10 dosas at a time'

Lie machine:-no sound(truth)

Sardarji:-'I think....'
Lie machine:- 'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'.
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-'KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR...'
Sardarji:-'I think...'
Lie machine:-''KIRRRRRRRR

एमपी .सर

An INTERVIEW
OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : TELL ME PROPERLY
CANDIDATE : MOHAN PAL SIR
OFFICER : YOUR FATHER'S NAME ?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
CANDIDATE : MANMOHAN PAL SIR
OFFICER : YOUR NATIVE PLACE
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : IS IT MADHYA PRADESH ?
CANDIDATE : NO, MUNNUR PAL SIR
OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : (ANGRILY) WHAT IS IT ?
CANDIDATE : METRIC PASS
OFFICER : WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB ?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
CANDIDATE : MONEY PROBLEM SIR
OFFICER : DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : EXPLAIN YOURSELF CLEARLY
CANDIDATE : MAGNANIMOUS PERSONALITY SIR
OFFICER : THIS DISCUSSION IS NOWHERE, YOU MAY GO NOW
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : WHAT IS IT NOW
CANDIDATE : MY PERFORMANCE....?
OFFICER : MP !!!
CANDIDATE : WHAT IS THAT SIR..?
OFFICER : MENTALLY PUNCTURED

एम् पी सिर

An INTERVIEWOFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?
CANDIDATE : M P SIR
OFFICER : TELL ME PROPERLY
CANDIDATE : MOHAN PAL SIR
OFFICER : YOUR FATHER'S NAME ?
CANDIDATE : M P। SIR
OFFICER : WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
CANDIDATE : MANMOHAN PAL SIR
OFFICER : YOUR NATIVE PLACE
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : IS IT MADHYA PRADESH ?
CANDIDATE : NO, MUNNUR PAL SIR
OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : (ANGRILY) WHAT IS IT ?
CANDIDATE : METRIC PASS
OFFICER : WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB ?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
CANDIDATE : MONEY PROBLEM SIR
OFFICER : DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : EXPLAIN YOURSELF CLEARLY
CANDIDATE : MAGNANIMOUS PERSONALITY SIR
OFFICER : THIS DISCUSSION IS NOWHERE, YOU MAY GO NOW
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : WHAT IS IT NOW
CANDIDATE : MY PERFORMANCE....?
OFFICER : MP !!!
CANDIDATE : WHAT IS THAT SIR॥
OFFICER : MENTALLY PUNCTURED

mea और मेरा रूम mate

मैं और मेरा रूममेट अक्सर ये बातें करते हैं,घर साफ होता तो कैसा होता.मैं किचन साफ करता तुम बाथरूम धोते,तुम हॉल साफ करते मैं बालकनी देखता.लोग इस बात पर हैरान होते,उस बात पर कितने हँसते.मैं और मेरा रूममेट अक्सर ये बातें करते हैं.
यह हरा-भरा सिंक है या बर्तनों की जंग छिड़ी हुई है,ये कलरफुल किचन है या मसालों से होली खेली हुई है.है फ़र्श की नई डिज़ाइन या दूध, बियर से धुली हुई हैं.
ये सेलफोन है या ढक्कन,स्लीपिंग बैग है या किसी का आँचल.ये एयर-फ्रेशनर का नया फ्लेवर है या ट्रैश-बैग से आती बदबू.ये पत्तियों की है सरसराहट या हीटर फिर से खराब हुआ है.ये सोचता है रूममेट कब से गुमसुम,के जबकि उसको भी ये खबर है कि मच्छर नहीं है, कहीं नहीं है.मगर उसका दिल है कि कह रहा हैमच्छर यहीं है, यहीं कहीं है.
roma ki एक तस्वीर इधर भी है, उधर भी.करने को बहुत कुछ है, मगर कब करें हम,इसके लिए टाइम इधर भी नहीं है, उधर भी नहीं.
roma कहti है कोई वैक्यूम क्लीनर ला दे,ये कारपेट जो जीने को जूझ रहा है, फिकवा दे.हम साफ रह सकते हैं, लोगों को बता दें

funny

Aarzu hai tumhe durse dekhne ki,

kareeb aana bhi nahin chahte,

tamanna nahin hai tumhe paane ki,

magar tumhe khona bhi nahi chahte...... ॥

Duniya ki parwah naa kiya kijiye,

dil jab bhi pukare bula li jiye,

hum dur ziyada nahi apse,

bus apni aankhon ko palkon se mila li jiye........ .

Har pathar pe likhu I MISS YOU,

Aur vo har pathar aapko maru,

taki aap ko ye ehsaas to ho

ke aapki yaad kitna dard deti hai...

one day a sardar went to buy a mirror......

sardar: iss mirror ki kya garranty hai॥?shop keeper: app isko 100 floor se nichey giwao, ye mirror99 floor tak nahi tutegaa।sardar: wahh wahh pack it

santaa

संता के घर लडकी ने जनम लियाबंता: जब लडकी बड़ी होगी तो लड़के इसे छेड़ेंगेसंता: मैंने इसका इन्तजाम कर लिए हैबंता: क्या कियासंता: लडकी का नाम दीदी रख दिया ह!संता स्कूल आता है 1 काला और 1 सफ़ेद जूता पहनकर ।टीचर - घर जाओ और जूते बदल कर आओसंता - टीचर कोई फ़ायदा नही वहा भी एक काला और एक सफ़ेद जूता ही रखा ह!एक ट्रक दुसरे ट्रक को खीच रहा था.देख कर सरदारजी हँसकर लोटपोट होके गिर पड़े और बोले:एक रस्सी का टुकड़ा उठाने के लिये २-२ ट्रक!!!सन्ता मे बन्ता से पुछा : तुम पोस्टपैड के बजाय प्रीपैड को महत्व क्यों देते हो?बन्ता: प्रीपैड में बहुत फ़ायदा है, इसमे कॉल के बाद बिल बढने के बजाय कम होता है

hum haar gaye

Jab Jeetna Chaha Hum Haar Gaye !!
Iqraar gaye inkaar gaye
hum haar gaye
ankhon se sub asaar gaye
hum haar gaye
kuch yadain uski beech samander doob gayeen
kuch sapnay reh uss paar gaye
hum haar gaye
ik umr rahay hain jeet se bay perwah lein
jub jeetna chaha haar gaye
hum haar gaye
yuun uljhay dunya ke dukh main
be-sudh ho kersub hootay sachay pyaar gaye
hum haar gaye
pehlay to pareet main apnay aap se duur huway
phir yaar gaye dildaar gaye
hum haar gaye

dont worry if someone hurts u

If someone hurts u don't mind it
Since it is the law of the nature that
"the tree that bears the sweetest fruitgets the maximum no. of stones"...........

friends

Friends

They care for you, but they are not from your family...
They are ready to share your pain, but they are not in your blood relation.
They are........FRIENDS!!!!!
True friend scolds like a DAD..
Cares like a MOM..
Teases like a SISTER..
Irritates like a BROTHER.. And finally loves U more than a LOVER.

dear friends

Dear All Friends,

Two Moons DayPlease, have this valuable information. Don't miss it.On 27th Aug the Whole World is waiting for.............Planet Mars will be the brightest in the night sky starting August.

It will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye . This will cultivate on Aug. 27 when Mars comes within 34.65M miles of earth. Be sure to watch the sky on Aug. 27 12: 30 am . It will look like the earth has 2 moons.

The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287. Share this with your friends as NO ONE ALIVE TODAY will ever see it again.

to be urself

Someone falls to pieces Sleepin all alone
Someone kills the pain Spinning in the silence To finally drift away
Someone gets excited In a chapel yard Catches a bouquet
Another lays a dozen White roses on a grave
To BE URSELF is all that you can do
To BE URSELF is all that you can do
Someone finds salvation in everyone
And another only fame
Someone tries to hide himself Down inside their selfish brain
Someone swears his true love
Untill the end of time Another runs away Separate or united?
Healthy or insane?
To BE URSELF is all that you can do
To BE URSELF is all that you can do
To BE URSELF is all that you can do
To BE URSELF is all that you can do
With every single memory of the good or bad faces of luck
don't lose any sleep tonight I'm sure everything will end up alright
You may win or lose
But to BE URSELF is all that you can do
To BE URSELF is all that you can do

jina kya hai

शहर की इस दौड़ में दौड़ के करना क्या है?
जब यही जीना है दोस्तों तो फ़िर मरना क्या है?
पहली बारिश में ट्रेन लेट होने की फ़िक्र हैभूल गये भीगते हुए टहलना क्या है?
सीरियल्स् के किर्दारों का सारा हाल है मालूम पर माँ का हाल पूछ्ने की फ़ुर्सत कहाँ है?
अब रेत पे नंगे पाँव टहलते क्यूं नहीं?
108 हैं चैनल् फ़िर दिल बहलते क्यूं नहीं?
इन्टरनैट से दुनिया के तो टच में हैं,लेकिन पडोस में कौन रहता है जानते तक नहीं.
मोबाइल, लैन्डलाइन सब की भरमार है,लेकिन जिग्ररी दोस्त तक पहुँचे ऐसे तार कहाँ हैं?
कब डूबते हुए सुरज को देखा त, याद है?
कब जाना था शाम का गुज़रना क्या है?
तो दोस्तों शहर की इस दौड़ में दौड़् के करना क्या है
जब् यही जीना है तो फ़िर मरना क्या

joke

u will enjoy this Musharaf, Manmohan, Aishwarya rai and Sonia are travellingin a train.The train goes through a tunnel and it getscompletely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed.

Musharaf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.
Sonia is thinking:These Pakistani are all crazy after Aishwarya. Musharaf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

Aishwarya is thinking:Musharaf must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.

Musharaf is thinking:Damn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.Manmohan is thinking:if this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing sound and slap Musharaf again ...JAI HIND

Om Jai Google Hare !!Swami Jai Google hare Programmers ke sankat, Developers ke Sankat, Click main door kare!!Om Jai Google Hare !!Jo Dhyawe vo pawe, dukh bin se man ka, Swami dukh bin se man ka, Homepage ki sampatti lawe, Homework ki sampatti karavekasht mite work ka,Swami Om Jai Google hare!! Tum puran search engineTum hi internet yaami, Swami Tum hi internet yaami Par karo hamari Salari, Par karo hamari apprisal, Tum dunia ke swami,Swami Om Jai Google hare.Tum information ke saagar, Tum palan karta, swami Tum palan karta,Main moorakh khalkamii, Main Searcher tum Server-ami Tum karta dhartaa !!Swami Om Jai Google hare!! Din bandhu dukh harta,tum rakshak mere, Swami tum thakur mere, Apni search dikhaao, sare reasearch karaoSite par khada mein tere,Swami Om Jai Google hare!! Google devta ki aarti jo koi programmer gaawe, Swami jo koi bhi programmer gaawe,Kehet SUN swami, MS hari har swami, Manwaanchhit fal paawe